I guess I eventually have to say something after that last post, right? Time to get back to regular blogging I reckon. My father passed away the day after I posted that June 20th tribute. Historically I don't handle death too well. When a goldfish would jump out of the bowl and lay dead on the floor I'd have to go find someone to pick it up. I refused to look into the coffins of either of my grandmothers at their funerals. Etc. Etc. It was different with my dad and the experience was just so BIG for me that two weeks later I'm still looking for a place to put it...the experience and the way I feel it changed me that is. My stepmom and I were with my father when he passed; stroking his head and holding his hand and telling him how loved he was. How happy we were that he would be flying with the angels, seeing his mom and dad and my sister Cindy, and feeling no more pain. We ushered him out of this world on a cloud of love. It was the most intimate experience of my life and I wouldn't have traded being there for anything in the world. It amazed me.
I spent the next four days going through all the old photos at his house and all the old photos at my mom's house--scanning and editing and auto-fixing. The 204 photos that got put on a dvd for a slideshow presentation showed the 78 year lifespan of a man who was loved and obviously loved his life. I said to other family members during those four days, "I only have one regret with dad; and that is that I didn't do this photographic tribute while he was still alive." He would have absolutely loved it.
We managed to laugh a lot during those few days of hospice care and also at the memorial service we had five days later...which was simply what is called a Celebration of Life. So I'll close with an invitation for you to freely laugh at this picture. I remember Dad wanted to attend his Elks Lodge Father/Daughter dinner. I was like, "Daaad! I think they mean young daughters...like nine or ten!" But I sucked it up and went anyway. :-) This is from 1988 or 89 and yes, my hair is cut in a mullet. A big ol' poofy one by the looks of it!
What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful man. He will leave a hole in our soul.
Posted by: Peggy | July 07, 2010 at 04:18 PM
Dad's are someone we MISS till we meet again! Sorry for your loss but so glad you could be there with him as he passed
Posted by: sandra | July 07, 2010 at 04:45 PM
It is amazing to spend the last moments with another human being. I did it with my brother, my Dad has passed 3 weeks prior. I'm cradling you gently with prayers, jen.
Posted by: Peggy | July 07, 2010 at 10:06 PM
Jen,
You are not alone.
S.W.A.K.
Posted by: Marsha | July 08, 2010 at 07:56 AM
i love dads! I'm sorry for your loss. But I'm so happy you have good memories and were able to spend that intimate time with him.
Thinking of you....
Posted by: Des | July 08, 2010 at 08:28 AM
Hello Jen, Thank you for your comment on my blog today! I am so sorry for your loss and hope that you will find peace and comfort during this time. What a beautiful tribute to your dad. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Hil | July 08, 2010 at 12:00 PM
So sorry to hear about your dad. Sweet photo of you two before the dinner! xo
Posted by: pam | July 08, 2010 at 01:20 PM
Wonderful that you were there as he left this world. Didn't we all have mullets in the 80's?
Sounds like you have a lot of good memories to hold dear.
xo, suzy
Posted by: georgiapeachez | July 08, 2010 at 05:05 PM
So sorry Jen but glad you had the privilege of being there for him. I did the same for my Mom 25 yrs ago and I still think of that time as such a gift. And wonderful idea to do the photos, you'll look at it time and time again. Hugs
Posted by: Mary Ann | July 09, 2010 at 07:56 AM
That was very touching and I love how you celebrated his life w/ the photos...wishing you the very best.
Loved the picture above...reminded me of my own mullet in the 80s...and all the darn hairspray I used to keep it looking like that!lol
Posted by: zunzun | July 09, 2010 at 01:49 PM
Aren't you glad you took a pic with him that day. Every photo I have of me alone with one of my parents is like a huge bonus to me. The end of your dad's life is much like the end of my dad's life. I'm so glad I was able to be around him when Hospice was there and to usher him off to his new ventures in the afterlife. I know how you feel.
Posted by: nanette | July 15, 2010 at 10:40 AM
I'm sorry to hear about your dad...you are blessed to have had his love on earth as he has yours and that is something that never ends.
Posted by: tammyCA | July 16, 2010 at 09:55 AM
Sending you hugs and keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Barbara | July 16, 2010 at 01:59 PM